I thought to myself... "a what?"
and then I thought... "I wonder if he considers me a 'spiritual leader?'"
(such arrogance on my part)
You see, I knew that I wasn't a spiritual leader! Oh yeah, I had the position and the title of a "spiritual leader" but I lacked the most important traits that characterize a true "spiritual leader". Dr. Kevin Leman came to our church a few years ago and I heard him say, "Flaunt your imperfections."
So here is WHY I was not a spiritual leader:
- First and foremost, I lacked a strong and consistent prayer life.
- Second, I lacked humility.
- Third, I lacked a servant spirit (unless it was about serving myself.)
- Fourth, I lacked steady spiritual growth. I was actually depending on the preparation I did for the weekly Bible study messages I would lead for my own spiritual growth... I was not INGESTING & DIGESTING the WORD of GOD for my own spiritual growth.
- Fifth, I lacked confidence in God... I thought I had to be the one not only making the plans, but determining the steps.
I thank God for His everlasting patience and loving kindness which leads to repentance! I was certainly broken over my arrogance and lack of spiritual leadership. But don't hear me saying that I have it all figured out... believe me, I still struggle with the things that I mentioned.
But I ditto the words of Paul in Philippians 3:13-16 when he says, "But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained."
God give me the patience to wait on You, the endurance to believe You and the faith to move mountains!
